thesparklecollective | the fiebelkorn legacy 4.8: battle royale (is too good for these jerks)

oh

my

god

last time:

a beautiful siren named kitty ruined everything
spectra and sirena fucking hate each other now
kill me please kill me

so here's our heirs outside an adorable meticulously decorated house that pooklet built but who gives a fuck because life in that house is this, just this

spectra: rrrrrrrrrrr

sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr

these bitches: mmmm get a load of that fresh summer breeze

sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr

spectra: well that has a sting to it

sirena: ow, it certainly does

spectra: R???R?????_????R?_??????R????????R?R?????R????????R?????R??????R?????????R???

that was zalgo text originally but it didn't translate into notepad. i thought this was funnier tbh

it went on

and on

spectra: you could not pay me enough to coexist with you peacefully, piscine pondscum!

so then the welcome wagon showed up, purely to give context for how immediately the slapfighting started

because they are all completely useless to this legacy. one married couple and one guy, not helpful to two lesbians

though they do all live right across the street, so kudos for that i guess, game

spectra: the nerve of that jerk does she know who i am

yes honey she does, that is the problem

spectra: TEACH YOU TO HIT MY FACE

sirena: i already know how! please stop

ignoring the useless welcome wagon the girls are off to search for actually available mates

omri: would you just look at these pansies! exquisite

first stop is the coffin bean, i've had some decent luck here

sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr

unhelpful devil: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

spectra: this is not the manner in which i want to see stars

almond: *pricks ears*

almond: i'd be happy to help you see some sexy stars. call me, babe

stop

mitch gothier: guinness book of world records

sirena: what

spectra: hi, i'm a distant relation

almond: so much the better!

almond: check me out hottie

spectra: ehhh.

you took that rejection p well, almond

almond: there's plenty of other fish in the sea, overlord! sirena, for instance

to get away from almond we went to the paradise next.

sirena: how DARE YOU allow almond to consider me

uh, spectra?

spectra: i am not in control of that please stop snarling at me

forget that, are y'all ok there or

glasses mcphaseyton: yeah we're good

spectra: is that... IT IS! a pink bela lugosi's dead vinyl! this is the best day of my life

sirena prefers to pool

which makes sense, seeing as she is a fish

spectra: UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD

spectra: one step closer to magical girl

tbh i was just enjoying seeing some expressions other than blistering hatred

sirena: oh yeah, i guess other emotions still exist

mitch gothier: ok mitch hold it together this one's for the guinness

spectra: heheheheeeeeeh

i guess bea managed to separate her flesh molecules from varney's cuz here she is grooving

...where is varney?

oh.

varney: aw yeah girl your spackled-on-in-a-dark-room makeup is still turning my gears

spectra: i love the way you can phase your body clear through someone else's. wanna phase it through mine, perhaps?

beatrice: giggle

spectra: that's an experience you could sell tickets to! and i'd like to buy one.

beatrice: one moment, i'd like to consult with my colleague

beatrice: what do you think professor von ball, should we get our phase on

spectra: um

spectra: i've made a huge tiny mistake

i don't know what this is and why it's only happening to sims with this hair color

beatrice: i can't tell you. proprietary secrets of the bitchin' backshatter brethren.

jasmine: yeah i just slapped this lipstick on with a trowel. it's like a half an inch thick. wanna see

not that this isn't adorable but this isn't helping you find a fuckfriend

sirena: not true! when word of my jumprope prowess spreads, i'll be hip deep in babes.

mitch gothier and spectra: bea bea do you like our sexyfaces do you do you bea

beatrice: shhh babes mama wants to eight ball

let's just go to the pancake palace

spectra: yr a fuckin star sirena

but by this point the game was as fed up with the slapfighting as i was and crashed.

sirena: i'm gonna kick your head in like a soccer ball.

spectra: *munch*

sports aside, you bitches still don't have one decent prospect between you so let's go to the god damn pool.

by now i feel like i've seen the entire milky way galaxy's worth of stars

is that— oh no

both ladies scoped the joint and both of them disappointed me

whisper: you look like you probably smell really nice. can i sniff your shirt

spectra: hmmm

sirena: OMFG DISGUSTING THIS IS A BLATANT ABUSE OF PUBLIC PROPERTY YOU BUTT VOMITS

spectra: nice.

sirena: i need an adult

of course it was carmilla

hair gel von hottubfuck: it sure was

sirena: what is WRONG with you? have you no basic human decency? no sense of boundaries? some of us are amphibious, you know! oh, but what do you care? your dong demands satisfaction and before its needs all else is insignificant. you piece of moose waste

sirena: see if i swoon over you again, carmilla!

whisper: tell them to wait i wanna see

sirena: THIS IS SO UNCOOL.

jennifer: aww come on, it's broad daylight! at least wait for cover of darkness, you selfish horsefucks!

jennifer: cute suit!

sirena: likewise!

the sex smog had not even begun to clear from the hot tub before these bean buckets climbed the fuck in. enjoy your UTIs

why

jennifer: did you see the new house of cards? i think it really went off the rails this season

sirena: i don't... what is that. is someone building a card house cuz i'd like to see that i guess

spectra: i do not like swimming

jennifer: ugh i can still smell the sex fumes

sirena: people can be so inconsiderate

sirena: oh great here comes my jerk cousin to rain on our parade

spectra: howdy

spectra: what y'all talking about? sex? awesome. on that note i'm super good at rubbing lamps

spectra: some might say i have the midas touch

sirena: no one has or ever will say that it is utterly nonsensical i loathe you

jennifer: related, fred fritter is looking pretty good these days

sirena: i agree, fred fritter is a fuckin fox

the pool was really empty so i thought everyone else left but no, they all just crammed in here like a pack of animals

tiona fritter: pack of animals is right, i saw things in there that i will never unsee

tiona: this helps

spectra: i know right

spectra: how DARE you be so cute. what gives you the right

tiona: idk, genetics i guess

spectra: yeah yr genes are pretty fine. so are yr jeans, i'd love to get into them

tiona: i'm not wearing jeans but i would happily go home and change into some if you want

sirena: i don't care what mom says, chlorine is a godsend and she can keep her filthy swamp pool

whisper: hey honey baby i hear you're into vampires but have you considered tigers also have hella fangs

spectra: genes, right? like jeans? ahh, i'm hilarious

whisper: i would relish the opportunity to tap that

how about we go home now

sirena: overlord i was giving you a chance to realize this on your own but you blew it. did you possibly forget something? something important?

...oh

oh shit