the fiebelkorn legacy 4.8: battle royale (is too good for these jerks)

[azaya]

oh

my

god

last time:

• a beautiful siren named kitty ruined everything
• spectra and sirena fucking hate each other now
• kill me please kill me

so here's our heirs outside an adorable meticulously decorated house that pooklet built but who gives a fuck because life in that house is this, just this

spectra: rrrrrrrrrrr


sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr


these bitches: mmmm get a load of that fresh summer breeze


sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr

spectra: well that has a sting to it


sirena: ow, it certainly does


spectra: R???R?????_????R?_??????R????????R?R?????R????????R?????R??????R?????????R???

that was zalgo text originally but it didn't translate into notepad. i thought this was funnier tbh


it went on


and on


spectra: you could not pay me enough to coexist with you peacefully, piscine pondscum!


so then the welcome wagon showed up, purely to give context for how immediately the slapfighting started

because they are all completely useless to this legacy. one married couple and one guy, not helpful to two lesbians

though they do all live right across the street, so kudos for that i guess, game


spectra: the nerve of that jerk does she know who i am

yes honey she does, that is the problem


spectra: TEACH YOU TO HIT MY FACE

sirena: i already know how! please stop


ignoring the useless welcome wagon the girls are off to search for actually available mates

omri: would you just look at these pansies! exquisite


first stop is the coffin bean, i've had some decent luck here


sirena: rrrrrrrrrrr

unhelpful devil: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT


spectra: this is not the manner in which i want to see stars

almond: *pricks ears*


almond: i'd be happy to help you see some sexy stars. call me, babe

stop


mitch gothier: guinness book of world records

sirena: what


spectra: hi, i'm a distant relation

almond: so much the better!


almond: check me out hottie

spectra: ehhh.


you took that rejection p well, almond

almond: there's plenty of other fish in the sea, overlord! sirena, for instance

to get away from almond we went to the paradise next.


sirena: how DARE YOU allow almond to consider me

uh, spectra?


spectra: i am not in control of that please stop snarling at me

forget that, are y'all ok there or

glasses mcphaseyton: yeah we're good


spectra: is that... IT IS! a pink bela lugosi's dead vinyl! this is the best day of my life


sirena prefers to pool

which makes sense, seeing as she is a fish


spectra: UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD


spectra: one step closer to magical girl






tbh i was just enjoying seeing some expressions other than blistering hatred


sirena: oh yeah, i guess other emotions still exist


mitch gothier: ok mitch hold it together this one's for the guinness


spectra: heheheheeeeeeh


i guess bea managed to separate her flesh molecules from varney's cuz here she is grooving

...where is varney?


oh.

varney: aw yeah girl your spackled-on-in-a-dark-room makeup is still turning my gears


spectra: i love the way you can phase your body clear through someone else's. wanna phase it through mine, perhaps?

beatrice: giggle


spectra: that's an experience you could sell tickets to! and i'd like to buy one.

beatrice: one moment, i'd like to consult with my colleague


beatrice: what do you think professor von ball, should we get our phase on

spectra: um


spectra: i've made a huge tiny mistake


i don't know what this is and why it's only happening to sims with this hair color

beatrice: i can't tell you. proprietary secrets of the bitchin' backshatter brethren.


jasmine: yeah i just slapped this lipstick on with a trowel. it's like a half an inch thick. wanna see


not that this isn't adorable but this isn't helping you find a fuckfriend

sirena: not true! when word of my jumprope prowess spreads, i'll be hip deep in babes.






mitch gothier and spectra: bea bea do you like our sexyfaces do you do you bea

beatrice: shhh babes mama wants to eight ball

let's just go to the pancake palace


spectra: yr a fuckin star sirena

but by this point the game was as fed up with the slapfighting as i was and crashed.


sirena: i'm gonna kick your head in like a soccer ball.

spectra: *munch*

sports aside, you bitches still don't have one decent prospect between you so let's go to the god damn pool.


by now i feel like i've seen the entire milky way galaxy's worth of stars


is that— oh no


no


NO


both ladies scoped the joint and both of them disappointed me

whisper: you look like you probably smell really nice. can i sniff your shirt


spectra: hmmm

sirena: OMFG DISGUSTING THIS IS A BLATANT ABUSE OF PUBLIC PROPERTY YOU BUTT VOMITS


spectra: nice.

sirena: i need an adult


of course it was carmilla

hair gel von hottubfuck: it sure was


sirena: what is WRONG with you? have you no basic human decency? no sense of boundaries? some of us are amphibious, you know! oh, but what do you care? your dong demands satisfaction and before its needs all else is insignificant. you piece of moose waste


sirena: see if i swoon over you again, carmilla!

whisper: tell them to wait i wanna see


sirena: THIS IS SO UNCOOL.

jennifer: aww come on, it's broad daylight! at least wait for cover of darkness, you selfish horsefucks!


jennifer: cute suit!

sirena: likewise!

the sex smog had not even begun to clear from the hot tub before these bean buckets climbed the fuck in. enjoy your UTIs


why


jennifer: did you see the new house of cards? i think it really went off the rails this season

sirena: i don't... what is that. is someone building a card house cuz i'd like to see that i guess


spectra: i do not like swimming


jennifer: ugh i can still smell the sex fumes


sirena: people can be so inconsiderate


sirena: oh great here comes my jerk cousin to rain on our parade

spectra: howdy


spectra: what y'all talking about? sex? awesome. on that note i'm super good at rubbing lamps


spectra: some might say i have the midas touch

sirena: no one has or ever will say that it is utterly nonsensical i loathe you


jennifer: related, fred fritter is looking pretty good these days

sirena: i agree, fred fritter is a fuckin fox


the pool was really empty so i thought everyone else left but no, they all just crammed in here like a pack of animals


tiona fritter: pack of animals is right, i saw things in there that i will never unsee


tiona: this helps

spectra: i know right


spectra: how DARE you be so cute. what gives you the right

tiona: idk, genetics i guess


spectra: yeah yr genes are pretty fine. so are yr jeans, i'd love to get into them

tiona: i'm not wearing jeans but i would happily go home and change into some if you want


sirena: i don't care what mom says, chlorine is a godsend and she can keep her filthy swamp pool


whisper: hey honey baby i hear you're into vampires but have you considered tigers also have hella fangs


spectra: genes, right? like jeans? ahh, i'm hilarious

whisper: i would relish the opportunity to tap that

how about we go home now


sirena: overlord i was giving you a chance to realize this on your own but you blew it. did you possibly forget something? something important?

...oh

oh shit


alegra: BIIIIIIIITCH

I'M SO SORRY


alegra: can u believe this amateur shit tail like of all the people to forget overlord picked ME how could ANYONE forget ME

i'm sorry!!!


alegra: mnorph. at least the foliage is palatable

glad i got one right


spectra: there's too much food going to waste in this house. let's adopt


sirena: yayy, it's alegra! alegra's finally here!

alegra: excuse


sirena: but let's not forget i still want to fuCKING KILL SPECTRA


more like you-reek-a


sirena: FORM UP BITCH ME AND MY NEW CLEANING POINT ARE GONNA CLEAN YOUR CLOCK


sirena and spectra: KJHTUHFHDSJEEFJHJAARDJKFASRRSTD

this is my life now ha ha. ha! ha. help.

Comments

[pooklet]

jhfhkfkjsahgj im so sorry i sent u two rage machines. who knows maybe w/ time and anger management counselling they will come to tolerate each other!!

or maybe this is yr life now yeah

[drewsims]

so much fighting im so happy

[cosmetical]

at least there is maybe a possibility for spectra with tiona (and whisper i guess)?which is sure to (absolutely not) please sirena.

alegra i'm so happy you're back. pink cats are very important.

[polychromesims]

Everything about this update was glorious. <3

[shadowfell_sims]

This is fantastic. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.

[maxisbea]

i am 1000% into your game, it is where i want to live my life

except for the fact that it is murderland

sorry about that