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thesparklecollective2022-03-03 07:04 pm
azaya) wrote in thesparklecollective2022-03-03 07:04 pm
Entry tags:
Fiebelkorn: 6.2
whoa, what. more? but it hasn't been two years!
last time:
- rum raisin and alegra moved to somewhither
- rum rai was romanced by lamp love
- they had two beautiful children, artemisia and drosera, and a third is imminent
- rum raisin took up robot crafting, which we barely saw but has become relevant
but forget about any of that because it's peNGUIN TIME
artemisia: good penguin *pat pat*
penguin: i accept your pats of niceness.
munchy friend: mothers i have brought the nourishment
zappy friend: *hovers placidly*
right, these are rum raisin's other daughters
artemisia: if i squint, i can just make out the opposite wall!
i think maybe you need new glasses.
artemisia: why so?
alegra: oh worm?
drosera: whee!
alegra: omg can a bitch get a nap. where's chuckles the chiroptursus when you need her
alegra: just schwoop 'em into my mouth
lamp: OWWWF
this is dionaea, but before we could even get a proper picture missy sWOOPED IN to play peekaboo
artemisia: i've been training for this my whole life!
aaand then we continued not getting a clear picture of dionaea's face! hooray! but she's popular with her siblings, which i suppose is what's important.
drosera: hehe, it's little and glowing. dumb.
what're you grinning about, missy?
artemisia: oh, just reveling in being the pretty one!
drosera: exCUSE you bitch?
artemisia: silly drosie! we're ALL the pretty one!
drosera: yay!
would you believe me if i told you missy has the 'evil' trait? because she does. not that you'd know, cuz she's made it her mission to be a sweet ball of sunshine.
drosera: whosa good girl? who is? who is?
alegra: mm, i like how big and vulnerable your eyeballs are.
candeline: hi lamp. it's me, candy, your best friend.
lamp: i have a best friend? 8D
candy: yes. it's me, candy.
candy: with that established, i shall jump rope for several hours.
candy: done and dusted. now, what's going on inside?
apparently, freeloading.
candy: smolph
rum raisin: don't i know you?
candy: of course you do. i'm candy, your wife lamp's best friend.
rum raisin: no, that's not it.
mariposa dropped by, but couldn't finagle her way into the house.
mariposa: i guess i didn't want it as much.
lamp: hi babe! nice hat!
rum raisin: same.
thwomp, whose name i forgot last time and made up on the spot but is actually 'bop' o__o
lamp: coochie coochie coo!
thwompbop: o__o
yellsp: POOP FASTER
dionaea: gross, mom! wash your hands!
drosera: is it a puddle, or is it dog piss? we just can't know!
but you're gonna roll those dice anyhow, aren't you?
drosera: you know it! i grab life by the throat.
candy: what the hell, just basic cable?
rum raisin: why are you still here?
candy: good question. why, look at the time! i'd better go.
alegra: GOOD GET OUT
alegra: finally, i can lick my pissy undercarriage in peace.
missy: haha yuck
drosera: 'all around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasal...'
dionaea: idiot! you're supposed to be teaching me useful skills! how is this going to prepare me to get a 401(k)?
drosera: no, dionaea, you silly! that's a pot.
what's shaking, leggies?
alegra: slowly phasing into another dimension.
should i not watch?
alegra: eh. that ship's kinda sailed.
dionaea: i'm gonna run away and join a law firm
drosera: i scent change upon the wind— it smells like— a new sister?
after a fashion.
rum raisin: i dub you 'mr. handy'.
mr. handy, immediately, misunderstands her place in the family.
lamp: rum rai, you look different... new haircut?
mr. handy: AN͜ U̕NDER̷STA͡N҉D̛ABL̷É ̴MISTAK͝E,͏ M̛OTHÉR ͡L͢AMP,͢ ͢F̵ǪŖ ͘I ͞DO͢ S̸O͢ ҉R͜E̴S̕EMB̡L͞E͠ ̷M̢O̴TH̶E̡R ̷R͢A͏I͢SIN̛.͏ B͜UT ͜IT ͏I̡S̶ ͘I͟N ͟FAC͡Ţ ͠I, ̢YOU͞R͡ D̛AUG̨H̛TER, H̸ANDY̧-͡C̕HAN.҉
lamp: ...rum rai? D:
'error occurred in alegra' 'too many iterations'
wh-what does that mean? alegra, what does that mean?
alegra: chill, overlords, it's cool. we've got it under control.
WHO IS 'WE'?!
mr. handy: A͢H̕H͢ ̢Y͟ES, T̡HE̷ S̷PRIŢE҉FU̕L ̵HUM̛A͏N͠ ҉A͠C̴T̀IVIT̵Y̨ OF̵ S̡PY҉ING ON̛ ͢ONE'̢S̴ H͟ƯM͜A̡N ͜NEI̷G̷ḨBO͞RS͝.̢ HO͝W͜ ͝V̸ERY͡ ͘D͞R̕ÓL̀L̴!͡
mariposa: hi, zappy friend! hi munchy friend!
the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs of rock paper scissors.
drosera: FUCK
and epic lows.
drosera: hey, handy-chan, did you hear missy pet a penguin? i thought they were all feral nowadays.
alegra: who the FUCK
alegra: betcha wish you'd done that high-res pet texture replacement now, bitches!
rum raisin: pizza's even better when you age it awhile first!
dionaea: dexterity will make a nice change!
it didn't.
alegra: haha, is she dead?
mr. handy: AL̡EǴRA,̷ ͠T͟H͜E͞R̢È ͏Y̛O͢U ͢ARE҉! OUT͠ I̸N ̷T͢H̢E ͘U̧NSA̷FE W̴O͘R͜L̢D̸, AL̢L͟ A͘LONE A҉N͢D ͘UNPR͘OTÈCTE̵D.͜ ͠L̸E̢T͢ M̶E T́AKE YOU͞ ̨S̵A̷FEL͞Y̷ ͘BAC͢K INSIDE͘ ͠A̛T ̡O͡NC͘E̷.
dionaea:
mr. handy: I͞T'͏S͟ NI͝C̶E T͘O͟ ͝G̢E͝T̕ ̷OF̢F͝ M҉Y HU̧M̛AN F̧EET̵ FOR A̧ ҉C̀H̸A͟NG͡E
alegra: sharping
missy had a pirate-themed birthday
and then she had a glamour shot taken.
artemisia: does this haircut disguise my cheeks?
drosera: it doesn't, but you could always find a genie's lamp and wish for cheek reduction surgery!
artemisia: i mean, that's no stupider than mom's wish to break her neck one time consequence-free.
drosera: right?
rum raisin: i think it still counts as sizzurp without the jolly rancher. how big a difference can it really make?
mr. handy: D͜O ͝N͜O̡T B͟E ̕F͜OOLI͡SH͡, MO͞T̷H́ER ̢RAIS̢IN!̡ ͠TH͢Ȩ J̡OLL͞Y R̵A͟NCH҉E͞R IS ͠AN ͜I̕N͡TE͝GRA̸L ͠P͏ÀR̕T͢ OF̨ T̡ḨE S҉I͜ZŹURP RECIP̸E̴. ͘W̡ITH͡OUT̨ O͘NÈ,̧ ̛I̵T I͞S B̨UT̡ A̢N͞ IN̨F́E҉RI̡OR ͡I̶M͟IT͡A̛TI͘O̡N.̢
rum raisin: i regret you.
lamp: pöörk chööps
a nice, clear shot of drosie's face, just to rub it in that we still haven't seen dionaea straight on.
mr. handy: HUM̕A͠Ǹ ̢ME̕R̕RIMĘNT! ̧HU̸MAN J͝OY̧!͠ HUMAN̛ BÒUN͟C̴ING!͞
she loves the trampoline, which is fascinating given that she has no feet.
mr. handy: *powers down for a power, so to speak, nap*
rum raisin: whoo! go handy-chan! show that trampoline who's the champ! the tramp champ!
dionaea: can i sit here?
drosera: i can't STOP you.
drosera: oh, fuck yes. i'm gonna be a romance sim and break every heart in twenty miles!
mr. handy: ĄN ADM̨I͞ŖA̴BL̡E HU͝M̛A̴N GO̴AL
cutie. peppermint butler remains unimpressed, however.
another glamour shot for missy! and still none for dionaea bye.
but i mean, you can see what she looks like pretty well here. it'll have to do.
thwompbop: o__o
mr. handy: H͠O͡HOH͠Ǫ, ͝W̷HAT A̶ SA͠F̸E͟ AND ̀SPĹEǸD̴ÍD̢ ͜P͞LACE͡ ͏FÒR S͏W͢INGS!
dionaea: help
dionaea escaped, so it was time for more human bouncing instead.
rum raisin and lamp: bathroom dance, bathroom dance, bathroom dance, bathroom dance!
by the time they finished yelling 'bathroom dance' at each other, mr. handy had broken down in the front yard.
artemisia: dude, get out, i need to poop.
drosera: in a minute! did you know there's a pokemon blue?!
artemisia: that's great. really. but so is the size of this deuce brewing.
drosera: i get the best wi-fi in here!
artemisia: you don't need wi-fi to play pokemon blue.
drosera: that's all YOU know...
speaking of knowledge, drosie doesn't know how to safely grill a cheese (her secondary), and neither of them know how to handle a fire extinguisher.
drosera: SHIT
alegra: hey.
alegra: that stuff's explosive, right? can i have it? is there more? is it on the truck? should i go help myself? i'm gonna go help myself.
artemisia: PUSSYCAT IS LIVING RECKLESS PUSSYCAT IS RIDING HIGH
rum raisin: would you look at that, they've got fruit s'lads now.
anyway, handy-chan was still broken in the front yard and we couldn't figure out how to fix her, so we had someone call a repair person. this magnificently coifed individual showed up.
repair hair: everything seems to be in good working order!
oh, does it. does it really. is that the case. is that SO.
mr. handy: *dribbles sparks*
we tried turning her back on, since she's ""in good working order"", and she promptly ran to the kitchen and had a meltdown.
but this time rum rai was able to fix her? idek. what matters is she's fixed.
rum raisin: off to bigger and better things! like watching my wife do air somersaults on the trampoline!
or your daughter's birthday?
rum raisin: eh, i guess.
rum raisin: much better!
lamp, you're gonna break those fingers off. also, the burner is on. no wonder the kitchen enflamed itself earlier.
alegra: aw, come on! some of us have to sleep in here, you thoughtless dicks.
but not the girls, who've gathered here entirely of their own free will.
artemisia: EW MOMS
so LEAVE
artemisia: no
alegra: move
thwompbop: your eyes are bigger than mine o__o
rum raisin: look, handy! it's a sphere! you're one of those!
mr. handy: MǪT̶H͡E͏R,̡ ͜I͟ ͟FEAR YO͝U ARE ̛M͢I̛S҉T҉AK̵EŃ,̧ ̵FOR̵ ̢I҉ ͢A̢M I͟N͜ F̷AC̴T ̵A̷ ̸HUM̵AN GI͘R͟L͏
mr. handy: FOR͠ ̧THE͝ ͘WIN͜TE͏R'̨S̴ F͝ÈŞTIV̨A̸L҉ ̴I ҉W͝OUĹD LIKE SH̕O͏ES̛.
lamp: but you don't have feet.
mr. handy: W͟HY S͘H͘OU̧LD T͝H̨AT͡ ͝S͜T̷ÒP̸ M͝E ͟FR͢OM͏ ͝FO̴L͟L̵O͏W͞ÍNG M͞Y̷ ͟B̴ĻISS̛?
zappy friend: TARGET ACQUIRED
lamp: god, she looks so hot on that trampoline. when she's done i'm gonna bounce on her.
the bouncing was, apparently, very brisk.
drosera: this is the right place to stand.
alegra: haha, sick
then missy went to use the telescope for awhile.
she didn't have a good time.
like half the family: JESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SOUND
alegra: and i'm alegra
i mean just the return of your daughter-or-sister from a fucking spaceship but go off, queens
artemisia: stickthelandingstickthelanding—
narrator: artemisia did not stick the landing.
rum raisin: oh, no! that's super bad for your ankles!
drosera and dionaea: HAHA HOLY SHIT
drosera: anyway, have i told you how fucking great i am?
dionaea: i think so, but tell me again anyway.
artemisia: guys?
rum raisin: LAMP! thank god you're all right!
artemisia: :|
that's gotta sting. well, anyways
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