as ellyd mentioned in their last update, i wrote this back in may because I DO WHAT I WANT so here it is now
with slightly updated text, though the general feel of lowercase letters and absurdity remains
this is noirelle, the fiebelheiress
she started painting immediately
this is her little house btw, it's from a set of 10 tiny houses on maty that i have always liked very much
it's adorable but photographing the decorating was teeeerrible.
decorating came out good though if i do say so myself.
hey noirelle since this is a legacy you wanna go look for a partner, or
noirelle: don't make me do stuff
noirelle: hi i'm noirelle. i am really into your makeup. like REALLY into it. it's rad.
mitch gothier: wow. really?
meanwhile, two townies find identically-coiffed love
noirelle: soap in the fountain? yessss! what a clever and flawlessly executed humorous prank!
angry braids: I DISAGREE
flush with exhilaration in the wake of her new love connection, comburenthair maxisclothes reprises her hilarious prank
comburenthair maxisclothes: if it was funny once it'll be funny again!
words i live my life by, as ellyd could testify
noirelle: hmm, i could see myself mating with you.
noirelle: oh my stars and garters that looks painful
dawn: i wonder if the fur grows everywhere
jem sparkle of the sparklecy sparkles: i've been told i'm hung like an elephant.
noirelle: BABE ALERT
noirelle: hi i'm noirelle!
jem: hi, i'm jem. i like your dress.
fitzgerald: yeah jem, get you some (again)
back at home noirelle follows up:
noirelle: hey jem, you want to come over? you could put on your robe and wizard hat
painting is still her first love, though, and is the only reason she has any money at all after i decorated
jem, very belatedly: so about that robe and wizard hat stuff
jem: *waits for robes and wizard hats to materialize*
belladonna: i was just standing here and gadwin went off by itself i'm not a model
noirelle: butterflies pls
oh noirelle bb. that's... a heck of a sexy face.
well i guess it worked
noirelle: please leave
jem where did you get that kind of money though
your parents are tomato farmers
with that sweet sweet cash we bought afterwards's local cheese shack! and this is the last you will ever see of it so far.
after moving in jem celebrated by cleaning everything
at this point i took out a couple of hacks because ellyd and i had been reading simplicist's legacies together and i wanted to give my sims the opportunity to do some repetitive dumb shit
noirelle: grats on being hot though
i came to regret this
jem: i HATE. BURGLARS.
have you ever been robbed though sweetie cuz
i don't think you have
jem: CONNNNN TEEEEEEE PARTIROOOOOOOOOOOOOO
noirelle: aww is that french?
bbgirl is gorgeous though i mean, damn
jem: a yellow-crested cockatoo? in these latitudes?!
noirelle: urp impregnated
noirelle: what a gorgeous day to paint everything forever
jem: OH DIARY YOU SO FUNNY!
to the wedding chapel we go but i discovered in short order that they were not actually engaged yet
noirelle: omg babydoll you have the best taste
jem: eh it looks better on you
jem's sister crystal came to the wedding! enjoy having a blood tie to the fucking fritters noirelle
what are YOU doing here?
almond: i go where i want, i'm the voldemort of afterwards
beckoning cat clock: *beckons to the unborn*
are you doing
noirelle: HELP I THINK I AM BIRTHING?????
so there's the baby
apparently his blood is helium
jem: smoosh smooch
noirelle: omg tee hee
anyway here's banette, we finally got him to stop floating
when i was trying to think of a name ellyd suggested this generation be named after pokemon, so prepare yourself for a legion of children all named after ghost types js
noirelle: snuggle snuggle
jem: omg what if banette sees my diary and reads my innermost, private thoughts
then i think he'd be a prodigy given that he was just born two minutes ago
i put in this cute lounger, noirelle really likes it
noirelle: well that stings doesn't it
noirelle: *threebolts some more*
jem: BY JOVE
jem: THAT IS
jem: A CARDINAL
noirelle: weed is excellent for creativity
noirelle: why are these chess pieces not chess colors
because ea are dumbfucks is why
jem: whatcha doing kid
banette: toddler stuff
jem: wow i smell so good
banette sweetie don't do that
banette: leave me alone i'm just strengthening my immune system
noirelle: this smells astonishingly like poop
noirelle: step into my boudoir
jem: there is a tv downstairs and it looks nothing like the one i am describing to you, diary
hey beauti— stoner
noirelle: i'm not stoned i'm just trying to resign myself to another three days of pregnancy
banette grew up and is a real qt
more threebolting occurs
and yet more
yes omg look at this cat how perfectly charming sign me up
i've made a huge mistake
alegra: hello bluebird it's nice to meet you, you can call me the harbinger of your destruction. or alegra
all right, well, this doesn't seem so bad
i spoke too soon
this fluffy jerk is really cute though
I'VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE
noirelle: you super did
well here's misdreavus