at long last, no doubt, the last post of this generation. whiiich means heir choice at the end omg~ also next-round choice since we haven't even touched on that yet, heh.
Axethrow McTracksuit hovers proudly over her fresh
well this explains it. I accidentally deleted her eyes at some point, so I gave her Ellyd's zombie eye mask instead and now she is some kind of demon or something idek.
Jem: *is fucking unconscious on the lawn, Parent, how about some help*
Fitzgerald: By Jove! I think that is... A CARDINAL!
the Visitors In Workout Wear Club discusses safecracking. as you do.
Axethrow McTracksuit: Ahhhh, smell that sweet human vulnerability!
Jonathan Notfritter: Would you look at that, a femme passed out on the sidewalk...
Axethrow McTracksuit: Keep walking, ginger, or you're next.
Fitzgerald: Could it be?! An American goldfinch, at this time of year?
Jonathan Notfritter: *keeps walking*
Axethrow McTracksuit: Wise decision.
Jem: Hzzzzzwhah? Where'm I? Whoozzat?
Axethrow McTracksuit: Dammit. You lingered too long over the victory again, self, we've talked about this...
Fitzgerald: I'd be obliged if you got the hell out of here, because you're starting to scare the birds away! :D
Jem: What time is it? Where the fuck am I?
Axethrow McTracksuit: That's right, Jem. Until next time...
'next time' worked out to be about an hour later, when Axethrow von Stripeddress came by to drop off a token of her appreciation for their 'fun date'.
Axethrow von Stripeddress: Perhaps when I've sucked all the life force I can from Jem, this one will be next.
Jem: Why does it suddenly smell like Cleveland?
don't be silly, Jem. Cleveland smells way worse than that. (it does. trust me.)
Fitzgerald: ...and I hate it when life gives me lemons, tree, but I'm looking forward to getting some from you!
Dewdrop: Hey, Crystal, how's tricks?
Crystal: Not bad.
Dewdrop: Think you could maybe move so I can get to the sink?
Crystal: Nah, I'm good.
understandable. she was busy transitioning to teen.
Crystal: So all of a sudden I understand the might and majesty of the humble grilled cheese sandwich.
Duke: Your touching displeases me. Set me down at once.
I don't blame him. fucking everybody's obsessed with chucking poor Duke at the ceiling lately.
Axethrow von Stripeddress: Ahhhh, the sweet scent of unsuspecting souls ripe for devouring.
lol, poor Fitz. I mean, aww, poor Fitz.
aww, another nerdchild! this pleases me. :D
I love all these kids, though. it's gonna be hard to let one of them go. ._.
the kids hang out under here a lot. I can see why! it's like a ready-made clubhouse. sorta.
Fitz and Melba wouldn't stop rolling that 'buy a double bed costing $2,000 or more' want, so I got them a new bedframe.
this happens every morning. the offspring cluster and talk and play red hands until the bus is about to leave, then they all bust their asses running out to catch it. whatever works, I guess.
Crystal: Hey, look! My forehead's sprouted tentacles!
D8 that looks painful for everyone involved.
Axethrow von Stripeddress: *owns her name*
Axethrow von Stripeddress's evil intentions trail after her like a stink.
Crystal: *smiles desperately to cover the awkwardness*
Jem's obstacle: *is BEES*
meanwhile, Axethrow appears to have fallen under her own spell?
but Jem thoughtfully awakens her with a glass of water to the face.
Dewdrop: Uh... Crystal, you think you could move out of the doorway?
Crystal: Nah. I'm good.
Fitzgerald: *explodes into old age*
apparently Melba and Fitz were both just waiting for em to get old, sheesh.
I see why. lookin good, Fitz!
Fitzgerald: I wonder what that gnome's up to.
me too. but we'll never know, seeing as you're looking in the wrong direction.
Melba: Whoa. This is some steamy kissing in this book! My inner goddess just pole vaulted onto her chaise lounge.
Dewdrop: Mmm. Butter.
Jem: Aw, shit.
Melba: Near - faaaar - whereeeeeever you aaaare...
Fitzgerald: I do believe that is a scarlet macaw.
Zion Straight: *has not abandoned his pursuit of dat ass*
but no, Zion Straight, go away. I'm saving you and your exploitable name for a Fritter.
Jem: Ewww, my gross parents are touching each other.
Dewdrop's eyebrows: *are finally the right color*
Crystal: I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Jem: Well, your wizardness, magic your way on over here and you can rub my lamp.
Dewdrop: Iiiiii am just sitting here watching TV and not hearing a word of this!
I'm with you.
apparently Jem doesn't learn from hir past mistakes.
Jem: I don't understand why walking through the same patch of poison ivy resulted in poison ivy again!
Crystal: That girl in the mirror does everything I do!
Melba: I feel a huuuge sneeze coming on!—
nope. just old age.
Melba: Ahhh, the delicious certainty of no more eggs to fertilize.
Dewdrop: As the only man in this household, it is my duty to conquer rebellious appliances with my man-power.
Dewdrop: This toilet, too, will bow to my manly will.
Melba: 'Puckered love cave'?!
Fitzgerald: How can you read that? It's abysmal.
Crystal: Parent, don't say that! Edward is my sparkle soulmate!
gardening grows on the offspring.
get it. 'grows'.
Jem: What is happening in my pants?!
Crystal: What is happening in your pants?!
JEM WHERE IS YOUR FACE
Axethrow McTracksuit-von Stripeddress gets to age up with Jem, in case zie isn't heir. because I don't think I wanna mess with a good thing, defining 'good thing' here loosely.
Jem: *is indeed a Total Babe*
Axethrow: *is still sunburned*
Fitzgerald: I feel that now is an excellent time to go camping!
Dewdrop: But... it's snowing, Parent.
Crystal: I feel like Parent probably didn't get very good grades.
for now off Jem goes to the bin, to await hir fate.
whoa. never piss off Crystal, guys. her aim is deadly.
...as is her B.O., evidently.
Fitzgerald: Oh, no, strawberry, is that a bug on your leaves?
Melba: ...and someday you could grow as big as an elephant!
Carmilla: *is inexplicably present*
oh. she's here to steal the paper. all right.
maybe not such a good idea with Fitz and Melba right there, though?
Carmilla: Don't tell me what to do.
they didn't notice anyway.
Melba: Maybe you could even grow up into a hawk, or a peregrine falcon!
Fitzgerald: I hate to rain on your parade, Melba, but that's extremely biologically improbable...
Fitzgerald: That neon flamingo isn't looking very neon, or flamingo-like.
Clock: *is a clock*
Carmilla: *is the worst newspaper thief*
Mitch Gothier: *is the gothiest*
Fitzgerald: Your skin!
Mulciber: Your hair!
a friendship waiting to happen, surely? 8D
Fitzgerald: So grilled cheese, you know? It's the best. The. Best.
Mulciber: What? Nooooo.
Mulciber: How can you be so insensitive? Don't you know my species is lactose-intolerant?!
Fitzgerald: Ohhh. Awkward.
Fitzgerald: I do not want to have sex with my daughter.
I'm extremely glad to hear that.
Dewdrop: THESE CLOTHES ARE NOT MEEEEEE
hang on, I'll fix it!
there, all better. :>
Dewdrop: BAWWWWWW COLLEEEEEEGE
okay, that I can't fix, sorry.
worst. newspaper thief. ever.
Duke: So, hey, somebody's stealing the newspaper...
Crystal: Tell me about it in a minute, Duke, I gotta grow up now.
and then I put her in something more appropriate but before I could get a picture she, like her brother, burst into miserable college-deprived tears.
whiners. I haven't been to college, but am I crying about it? not right now! 8|
and off Crystal and Dewdrop go to the sim bin! because that is the end of this generation. :D ;~; \o/
so, to review! our heir candidates:
we never did decide on a last name, lol, so they're just 'Sparkle' for now. anyway, I can't make a poll on DW so I guess we can just say who we all want for heir? and figure out who's taking the next gen. exciting. :DDD