- a beautiful siren named kitty ruined everything
- spectra and sirena fucking hate each other now
- kill me please kill me
so here's our heirs outside an adorable meticulously decorated house that pooklet built but who gives a fuck because life in that house is this, just this
these bitches: mmmm get a load of that fresh summer breeze
spectra: well that has a sting to it
sirena: ow, it certainly does
that was zalgo text originally but it didn't translate into notepad. i thought this was funnier tbh
it went on
spectra: you could not pay me enough to coexist with you peacefully, piscine pondscum!
so then the welcome wagon showed up, purely to give context for how immediately the slapfighting started
because they are all completely useless to this legacy. one married couple and one guy, not helpful to two lesbians
though they do all live right across the street, so kudos for that i guess, game
spectra: the nerve of that jerk does she know who i am
yes honey she does, that is the problem
spectra: TEACH YOU TO HIT MY FACE
sirena: i already know how! please stop
ignoring the useless welcome wagon the girls are off to search for actually available mates
omri: would you just look at these pansies! exquisite
first stop is the coffin bean, i've had some decent luck here
unhelpful devil: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
spectra: this is not the manner in which i want to see stars
almond: *pricks ears*
almond: i'd be happy to help you see some sexy stars. call me, babe
mitch gothier: guinness book of world records
spectra: hi, i'm a distant relation
almond: so much the better!
almond: check me out hottie
you took that rejection p well, almond
almond: there's plenty of other fish in the sea, overlord! sirena, for instance
to get away from almond we went to the paradise next.
sirena: how DARE YOU allow almond to consider me
spectra: i am not in control of that please stop snarling at me
forget that, are y'all ok there or
glasses mcphaseyton: yeah we're good
spectra: is that... IT IS! a pink bela lugosi's dead vinyl! this is the best day of my life
sirena prefers to pool
which makes sense, seeing as she is a fish
spectra: UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD
spectra: one step closer to magical girl
tbh i was just enjoying seeing some expressions other than blistering hatred
sirena: oh yeah, i guess other emotions still exist
mitch gothier: ok mitch hold it together this one's for the guinness
i guess bea managed to separate her flesh molecules from varney's cuz here she is grooving
...where is varney?
varney: aw yeah girl your spackled-on-in-a-dark-room makeup is still turning my gears
spectra: i love the way you can phase your body clear through someone else's. wanna phase it through mine, perhaps?
spectra: that's an experience you could sell tickets to! and i'd like to buy one.
beatrice: one moment, i'd like to consult with my colleague
beatrice: what do you think professor von ball, should we get our phase on
spectra: i've made a huge tiny mistake
i don't know what this is and why it's only happening to sims with this hair color
beatrice: i can't tell you. proprietary secrets of the bitchin' backshatter brethren.
jasmine: yeah i just slapped this lipstick on with a trowel. it's like a half an inch thick. wanna see
not that this isn't adorable but this isn't helping you find a fuckfriend
sirena: not true! when word of my jumprope prowess spreads, i'll be hip deep in babes.
mitch gothier and spectra: bea bea do you like our sexyfaces do you do you bea
beatrice: shhh babes mama wants to eight ball
let's just go to the pancake palace
spectra: yr a fuckin star sirena
but by this point the game was as fed up with the slapfighting as i was and crashed.
sirena: i'm gonna kick your head in like a soccer ball.
sports aside, you bitches still don't have one decent prospect between you so let's go to the god damn pool.
by now i feel like i've seen the entire milky way galaxy's worth of stars
is that— oh no
both ladies scoped the joint and both of them disappointed me
whisper: you look like you probably smell really nice. can i sniff your shirt
sirena: OMFG DISGUSTING THIS IS A BLATANT ABUSE OF PUBLIC PROPERTY YOU BUTT VOMITS
sirena: i need an adult
of course it was carmilla
hair gel von hottubfuck: it sure was
sirena: what is WRONG with you? have you no basic human decency? no sense of boundaries? some of us are amphibious, you know! oh, but what do you care? your dong demands satisfaction and before its needs all else is insignificant. you piece of moose waste
sirena: see if i swoon over you again, carmilla!
whisper: tell them to wait i wanna see
sirena: THIS IS SO UNCOOL.
jennifer: aww come on, it's broad daylight! at least wait for cover of darkness, you selfish horsefucks!
jennifer: cute suit!
the sex smog had not even begun to clear from the hot tub before these bean buckets climbed the fuck in. enjoy your UTIs
jennifer: did you see the new house of cards? i think it really went off the rails this season
sirena: i don't... what is that. is someone building a card house cuz i'd like to see that i guess
spectra: i do not like swimming
jennifer: ugh i can still smell the sex fumes
sirena: people can be so inconsiderate
sirena: oh great here comes my jerk cousin to rain on our parade
spectra: what y'all talking about? sex? awesome. on that note i'm super good at rubbing lamps
spectra: some might say i have the midas touch
sirena: no one has or ever will say that it is utterly nonsensical i loathe you
jennifer: related, fred fritter is looking pretty good these days
sirena: i agree, fred fritter is a fuckin fox
the pool was really empty so i thought everyone else left but no, they all just crammed in here like a pack of animals
tiona fritter: pack of animals is right, i saw things in there that i will never unsee
tiona: this helps
spectra: i know right
spectra: how DARE you be so cute. what gives you the right
tiona: idk, genetics i guess
spectra: yeah yr genes are pretty fine. so are yr jeans, i'd love to get into them
tiona: i'm not wearing jeans but i would happily go home and change into some if you want
sirena: i don't care what mom says, chlorine is a godsend and she can keep her filthy swamp pool
whisper: hey honey baby i hear you're into vampires but have you considered tigers also have hella fangs
spectra: genes, right? like jeans? ahh, i'm hilarious
whisper: i would relish the opportunity to tap that
how about we go home now
sirena: overlord i was giving you a chance to realize this on your own but you blew it. did you possibly forget something? something important?
I'M SO SORRY
alegra: can u believe this amateur shit tail like of all the people to forget overlord picked ME how could ANYONE forget ME
alegra: mnorph. at least the foliage is palatable
glad i got one right
spectra: there's too much food going to waste in this house. let's adopt
sirena: yayy, it's alegra! alegra's finally here!
sirena: but let's not forget i still want to fuCKING KILL SPECTRA
more like you-reek-a
sirena: FORM UP BITCH ME AND MY NEW CLEANING POINT ARE GONNA CLEAN YOUR CLOCK
sirena and spectra: KJHTUHFHDSJEEFJHJAARDJKFASRRSTD
this is my life now ha ha. ha! ha. help.