welcome to the college years, folks. keep you arms and legs inside the ride and your wcifs inside the entry. official drinking game: take a sip for every stink cloud you spot.
hi-ho hi-ho it's off to shrubshirebrook university we go, a campus famous for having neither shrubs, nor shires, nor brooks. by now we knew that spectra would be double-heiring with someone, so i brought along our three other favorites including iris
a better look at iris's makeover and also this is kitty, one of the dormies who will be important this update
frankie stopped by to say hi before she left my game to go join a certain other legacy in azaya's
wow no one asked you
sirena: i must practice my mating ritual so that i can woo all the hot girls
sirena: hey you've got something on your shirt it looks like a stupid llama
spectra got a new hair and is excited about it
and also up to her old tricks of never sleeping and just gorging on coffee beans instead
unlike sirena, spectra's off to a less rocky start with the flirting
spectra: she shoots, she scoooores
well not yet
but soon, probably
honey: there's no food in this bathroom. i'd better check the others.
or you could give the kitchen a shot.
spectra: i have deduced that this is a microwave.
sirena: there's so little room on this desk to do my homework
move the porno books maybe?
sirena: now that's just silly
you're all filthy fucking animals
comedy incarnate, truly
u can buy some love potion tho
i missed out on honey getting her first kiss with brenda here but yay for honey!
dormie: why do i smell so baaaad
it's college and you're a dormie, it's pretty much your job to smell bad dude
sirena WHAT are you doing
sirena: recharging my thinking cap, duh
things that never happened act one
WOO go honey
iris: um, i'd like to pee now please
goddamn if i don't hate the constant crowding of npcs
someone give me three hundred freaking dollars for getting mediocre grades, dang
iris celebrates some much better end-of-semester grades by hooking up with another cute dormie, pong whose name i keep typoing as png
i forgot to bring whomp along to college so instead one of her siblings joined us. this is barbell.
spectra: /unintelligible baby noises
spectra: doot doot doot brushin' my teef
spectra: so i can kiss on kitty!
taking a break from kitty's complicated juggling act, iris and pong are so cute
sirena: wow i'm so into your pheromones right now
spectra: /sees no evil
honey and brenda are also cute and having sex all over the dorm because ofc
pong: oh shit oh shit
iris: RUN PONG SAVE YOURSELF I WILL PUT THE FIRE OUT WITH MY BODY
sirena: i would like to offer an alternative suggestion
ti-ning: this is the right place to do my homework
everything happens so much
ti-ning: i wouldn't mind knocking boots with your cousin twyla
sirena has decided she hates this girl demi. perhaps she's a relative of pinkhair von bubbleblowerhog?
torpedo braid: man, i'm glad that's not me
torpedo braid: this is ironic given my prior statement!
you are a POPULARITY SIM, honey
sirena: i disapprove of this wanton display of public affection!
sirena: i would never be so crass
grats on the less mediocre grades, honey
honey: ow, my head
if i could only use one picture to describe dormies it would be this one. beer, swooning and looking high as shit all day every day
honey: FREE WILLY, BITCH
brenda: is now a bad time pumpkin
spectra: this is a disappointing lack of nudity in this direction
streaker: boy do i have a surprise for you
the axe throwing station came with because of course it did
sirena: so this is what failure feels like
dormie: it's cool how you have ten best friends
spectra: eh, most of them are my cousins
kitty: ooh miss fiebelkorn oooohh
abruptly, spectra remembered she is romance secondary and pounced on torpedo braid here who i guess gets a real name now (it's vivian)
iris: PARTY HARD PARTY HARD
iris and pong: PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD
i get excited when sims autonomously do things that i don't see often so i cap these things but then i never know what sort of commentary to add. yep.
heh heh long and hard
sirena and spectra: /whisper gossip whisper
kitty: i am going to tap one or both of that
she wasn't kidding. vivian get out
ti-ning: room for one more?
kitty: i jUST HAD SEX
no spectra, no getting engaged in college
flagrant cheating is fine tho
spectra: what harmless fun
kitty: oh hell no
ti-ning: welp i'm off to wash off this post-sex stink
kitty: HOW DARE YOU SLEEP AROUND BEHIND MY BACK WHILE I WAS IN THE NEXT ROOM KISSING YOUR COUSIN
ti-ning: on second thought maybe i'll just stand here and mouth-breathe
to soothe her broken heart, spectra went to have sex with vivian in the elevator
ti-ning: oh no what if the cable snaps!
kitty: let's hope it does
ti-ning is relieved that spectra survived her elevator romp
iris: I FUCKIN LOVE PANCAKES 8|
spectra, what did i say
another semester done thanks to the thinking caps
honey mastered the ballet barre so i gave her a violin instead :D
the cow tried to gross out vivian but the tables quickly turned
i hate how every time i unlock a playable's dorm room it gets absolutely fucking flooded
because the crowding was frustrating the shit out of me i went to get a snack and apparently forgot to pause because next thing i knew it was morning, the room was still full of uninvited assholes, and spectra was inexplicably fuming about something
so i checked her memories and guess what finally happened
and guess who it happened with
i sent her out to the hobby car to buff her sads away
hello cleo!! sorry there was no room for you in this dorm, i still love you tho
kitty spent all night fuming, stinking and throwing axes
sirena: oh, hi spectra! how have you been? senior year's been so busy, huh?
spectra: LISTEN UP, GIRLFRIEND-STEALER
sirena: but you literally cheat on her all the time i do not understand
neither do i
srsly spectra srsly
you are the biggest hypocrite on the planet i swear
spectra: don't you HATE people who cheat ti-ning
ti-ning: lol ummm
gdi spectra i said NO
um sirena u ok
sirena: I'M GREAT THANK YOU FOR ASKING
demi: ow my spine
spectra: it's actually a little inconvenient how many sims my milkshake brings to the yard
things that never happened act two
honey: oh yes PLEASE tell me more i'm SOOOO interested
idk i just like the hobby car animations even tho it's a glitchy mess in my game and they can never actually complete the car
meanwhile, back in spectra's room
kitty made the mistake of challenging ti-ning to a fight
senior year has devolved into just constant smacking
it's like synchronized swimming except it hurts more
wow that is not remotely yr bed
nor is that but you have slightly more of an excuse given that yrs is taken
these two are still at it
except apparently sirena didn't fall in love until jUST NOW??
omfg get out, all of you
um spectra that is one of yr girlfriends in there slap-fighting with yr cousin do u feel like intervening or
spectra: i gotta go take an angry nap on honey's floor instead
ti-ning: that's not good for yr back at all /fret fret
get up and put yr clothes on brenda
cuz it's time to get engaged. unlike spectra, honey is allowed because she's been ruled out as a co-heir. she's mega cute but she doesn't really do much these days. except brenda.
ti-ning: this is the right place to stand
ti-ning: yep, definitely the right place
sirena: ow, watch the manolos babe
spectra: hey kitty, room for one more ;)
sirena: hi spectra, i was thinking we should really put all this behind us and
sirena: /smothers her sorrows in kitty's bosoms
meanwhile, spectra's cheating is catching up to her even more
but she remains undeterred
fine, here is a professor you have some bolts with (even tho she has the same face as yr great grandmother)
spectra: yeah i guess my cousin iris is pretty hot now that you mention it
ti-ning: the water jets in this hot tub that appeared in the middle of our lawn are amazing spectra you gotta try this when you're done wooing that professor
i love ti-ning, she's such a good sport with zero capacity for jealousy (literally. i checked.)
gengar: om nom nom
other stuff i almost never see in my game: autonomous primping!
meanwhile, in the next room
sirena, who has officially been declared co-heir, fights back
and it is on this furious note that i packed up our two heiresses, and sent them off to azaya and from what i've heard the slap-fighting has been just non-fucking-stop since they arrived. oh dear.